I think a lot about the episode of Glee where Sue Sylvester, the menacing cheer coach hell bent on ruining the Glee club, decided to marry herself. Like sis had a full on ceremony! That scene was hilarious but as I get older I realize that Sue wasn’t crazy and if you read just a bit between the lines you realize there's a lesson hidden in that outrageous scene.
When it comes to self love sometimes you’ve gotta be bold and courageous. Sometimes you’ve gotta do the most for yourself.
I'm a huge fan of solo dates, self care days, weekends and all the #selflove. It shouldn't be taboo and I used to loathe when I'd tell my friends what I was doing and be met with a "wow you're so strong" and other pity filled comments. It's really just as simple as enjoying your own company and spoiling yourself simply because you can. If I can do something for myself, I'll do it. If I want to eat something - I will. If I want to check out an exhibit - I'll go. That's it and that's all. These small acts turned into something radical for me.
I set the standard for myself and how I wanted to be treated. There was nothing a man or anyone could do for me that I couldn't do for myself and that shift in mindset helped carry me during some of my worst moments in 2021.
And that's exactly what I did on valentine's day last year. I booked myself a weekend stay at a hotel and pampered myself. I got dressed up and went to dinner, ordered endless amounts of room service, went to the spa, museum and so much more. So if you're also spending this valentine's day solo or want to start going on solo dates and don't know where to start here is a list of ideas.
And if you want to pair this with an activity... create a solo date idea jar! I have a video up on youtube where I walk through creating my own.
Date Ideas
Seasonal Activities
Pumpkin picking
Sunflower patch
Apple picking
Berry picking
Winter carnival
Go to a fright night
Go see christmas lights
St. Patrick's day bar crawl
Farmer's market
Check out a local pop up shop
Go to a fireworks show
Go skiing
Food Related
Try a ___ restaurant (fill it in with a new culture each time!)
Attend restaurant week
Hot pot
Attend a cocktail class
Cooking class
Dress up and go to a michelin restaurant
Go to a happy hour (bonus points on a rooftop bar)
Order takeout and enjoy it in a park
Have a picnic
Go to a dessert bar
Work in a cafe
Wine tasting
Bourbon tasting
Cider tasting
Dinner and a movie
Pre planned/Ticketed Activities
Candle making
Fragrance making
Rug making (there's a class in NYC!)
Ceramic painting class
Pottery making class
Rage room
Amusement park
Go to a sporting event (I have minor league baseball on my list... ever heard of the Rocket City trash pandas?)
Go to a concert
Food truck festival
Go to a museum
Do a dance class
Axe throwing
Go to a vineyard
Selfie museum
Go to a comedy show
Check airbnb experiences for something near you!
At home
Get comfy and have a movie night with your favorite snacks
Make your own cocktail - get the ingredients and a bar set!
Paint and sip
Light up a hookah, pour some drinks and jam to your best party playlist - Club Casa.
Put on new PJ's, do skin care, journal, and get some vibe playlists going. (Bobby Nsenga's videos on youtube are *chefs kiss*)
Follow a youtube recipe for dinner
Bake something!
Self Care
Go get your nails done - and pay extra for the scrubs!
Get a facial
Get a massage
Go to a flower shop and buy yourself a bouquet
Go to a salt cave
Go to a float spa (I did this for valentine's day '21 - AMAZING)
Travel
Staycation - do a one night stay in a hotel
Do a day trip to a nearby city
Do a weekend stay in nearby city
These ideas are just meant to be a starting point for you. As you start to do these activities you'll figure out your likes and dislikes and start to formulate your own! The idea of going out on your own can be daunting at first... trust me. I know. But the hardest part is getting started. From there it's a breeze!
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